I believe in past lives and thought I had met someone from a past life. I really connected with him on a deep level. We talked about this together and he stated that he felt the same. He is in a relationship with another woman and says he wants to end it, but he won't take the steps to do that because he doesn't want to make the wrong choice. He says he wants to be with me and in not so many words has expressed that he loves me. He is waiting for her to leave him so we can start our relationship the right way. I am becoming a really ugly person because of this: I have become jealous, hateful and spiteful. I don't like the person I have become while I wait for him as he has asked me to do. Whenever I bring up that I am going to end it, he says for me to be patient and in time we'll be together. What am I to do? When we began this, I was looking for a relationship with a person who was ready to build something wonderful with me. I have thought about ending it but it is much harder than you might think because I feel we are destined to be together. This has been going on for over two years now. Do you have any spiritual advice for me?

-L.

Dear L.,

When we meet people we've known in other incarnations, sometimes we're put in situations where we can repeat old patterns and find a way to fix old mistakes this time around. Sometimes we're frustrated because we're not on the same timetable as the other person, and that is one of the obstacles you are facing here. Your friend is not on the same schedule, and he may never get there.

He says he doesn't want to make the wrong choice. That is a troubling statement because if he was truly interested in committing to you, it would never occur to him that choosing you could be wrong. The fact that he's seeing you while he's involved with someone else is a sign that he can't make any firm decision, right or wrong. He's cheating on his wife or girlfriend with you and can't man up enough to break up with her.

At the moment, he's got both of you and is controlling both your lives. He tells you he is waiting for her to break it off because he doesn't want anyone to see him as the bad guy. His behavior is not driven by concern for anyone but himself and what other people may think of him.

While the magnetic pull we feel toward someone we've been with before is very strong, spiritually enlightened people simply don't cheat or involve themselves with people who do. If this had only been going on for a few days or weeks, I could understand your desire to wait for him to get free, but two years of waiting is not fair to you or the other woman he's with.

Spiritual individuals seek honesty and fairness in all their relationships no matter how confusing they may be. Perhaps this person is back in this incarnation to show you how strong you really are in your own spirit and how much you can accomplish by holding out for what you know is right.

As a spiritual person, you know very well that you are not trapped with this man. Even if we have known a person in our Before Times, there is no such thing as destined to be together no matter what. True love happens when both people are willing to do what it takes to make it happen.

While I'm sure this man wants to be with you, he doesn't seem ready or willing to take the steps necessary to make that happen. Since there are so many other wonderful people in the world to meet and love, why spend another minute waiting on someone who lacks the courage to move forward? You can do better for yourself than taking second place in this man's life. My spiritual advice to you is to create your own destiny with someone who is both loving and available.

Susyn responds:

Dear L.,

When you find yourself connecting with someone from a past life, it's important to remember that the purpose of this reunion could encompass many things other than forming a life-long relationship. While it's apparent that you two knew each other in former incarnations, it's also likely that your past lives together were wrought with similar troubles.

Oftentimes when we encounter someone who has a powerful hold over us, we are provided with the opportunity to relive a certain set of circumstances for the purpose of healing, paying back or completing old karma.

It's quite possible that you are remaining in this situation because it feels comfortable or familiar. In your case, you may have to walk away from it to gain clarity about its higher purpose.

This man is not even married to this other woman and yet it appears he is unable to move forward. The longer you wait and the more he stalls, the more painful it will become for you.

If this man is your soul mate and the two of you are meant to be together in this lifetime, the quickest way to find out is to end the relationship now. Tell him not to contact you until he is free to do so. This will have to be a clean break: no texting, phone calls or emails.

If he is true to his word and you are destined to be together, cutting off contact will make him realize how important you are to him and how much he needs you, which should speed up the process. If this does not happen, then you will be completing an important karmic lesson, which will free you from a pattern of waiting for him to no avail. If this is the case, remaining with him now will most certainly block you from moving forward toward the true love you desire.

Spiritually, you must turn the decision for this relationship over to your Higher Source instead of leaving it in the hands of a man who has plenty of excuses for why he can't act. He can follow along or remain in what he claims is a bad relationship; either way, it's time for you to move forward. Two years is plenty of time to be patient.

I wouldn't be surprised if, once you take a stand, he finally stands up and acts, for the quickest way to change what someone else is doing is to change what you are doing. Once he sees you being true to yourself, he may realize that it is time for him to do the same.

As long as he has access to your love, attention and power, there's no impetus for him to change. It's time for you to move forward to the loving relationship you need and deserve whether he is willing to follow or not.