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DreamChaser responds:
Dear Celeste,
You hit the nail on the head with this one! Of course your client doesn't really want change, or she would have gotten it by now.
There are all kinds of reasons why people stay stuck. Most people just do not know how to get from point A to point Z, and they think that they need to have some grand plan all worked out before they start.
We readers need to remember to tell our clients that everyone who ever had a great idea did NOT know exactly how they were going to accomplish it at first - they just knew it was a good idea, and that they were going to do it.
Your client does not need to figure out the HOW or the WHEN, she just needs to focus on the WHAT. She has to choose what she actually wants in a job before anything will start to move for her.
When I bailed on corporate America and was asking the Universe for my own perfect job, I requested a situation where I could be a mom first, work at home, pay the bills and have some play money, and that is exactly what I got.
That is the point that your client has not yet grasped: She can't see HOW change will come to her, so even though she may wish for it, she doesn't actually believe that she can have it. Then she just manifests more experiences that reinforce her belief that she can't have what she wants.
She is also afraid of changing and failing, and she has come to define herself by this job, so she's not sure who she will be if she leaves it behind.
Celeste, you have to remember that you are not responsible for how your clients live their lives or any of the choices they make. All you can do is give them the messages you have for them and be there for them when they need you. You can't make anyone do anything they don't want to do.
Also, remember that if she wasn't talking to you, she could very well be talking to someone who is less responsible than you are, who may take advantage of her state of mind. She could potentially be targeted by someone who would take her money and not give her helpful, useful guidance because she is so desperate for change. You are doing her a good service by giving her your time and attention.
Her path is her path, and this struggle is part of that path. I agree that our goal is to get a client to where they are happy and prosperous on all levels, but if someone doesn't move forward, that doesn't mean you are a failure - it just means that they are stuck.
As I see it, those are the clients that need us the most. They need our strength, patience, love and concern for them. Yes, it can be maddening to see them spin their wheels for years and years. You do need to be frank with your clients, but in a very loving manner. They know when we are being truthful, and they appreciate our honesty.
I wish you peace with all your clients and reading experiences.
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Astrea responds:
Dear Celeste,
If someone wants change, I can help. If someone wants to just emote, forget it! I have next to no tolerance for that.
It's hard to respect someone who is circling the drain and at the same time draining YOU. Also, once you begin to feel less respect for a person, can you really do your best work for them anymore?
If your client says they want something different than what they have, and doesn't change in a reasonable amount of time, they become a big waste of time and energy for YOU.
I have found that reading for people like this is a good way to lose your psychic gifts, so send them away to another responsible reader, and don't feel guilty about it.
When clients return time after time without making any progress or changes, I realize they're not really getting anything from me. I am not doing this work for the money only: I feel a deep obligation to every person who comes to me, and I want them to get what they're paying for. If that's for someone to just agree with them and nothing more, forget it.
On the other side of this issue is the person who simply needs to talk to someone who won't judge them for their true thoughts and feelings. We all need that sort of understanding sometimes.
Of course, I've never been the sort of person to gently tell anyone ANYTHING. Since I'm a Sag, I'm naturally blunt and outspoken, and it's cost me many a psychic reading client. If someone just wants to hear how wonderful they are and how awful everyone else is, I'm not the reader for them.
Sadly, there are hundreds of fake readers out there who will tell a person anything he or she wants to hear over and over, just to take their money. I can't do it. I think it's WRONG. Those people who don't really want to change can find someone to listen to them babble on for a price, but it won't be me.
I can't count the times I've said, I am NOT helping you! and BLIP - I never see that person again. Whose loss is that, really? I think it's theirs, because they had a sincere reader who was poised and ready to help, and they threw that assistance right back.
We can't do anything to change another person's life, and the people who come to us with the same problems year after year are simply complaining to us because none of their friends will listen to them anymore. They have to pay us to do that because no one else is interested.
Those people bore the daylights out of me, and if you're smart, you'll cut them loose. They don't respect you; you're just the help - a psychic servant. Don't fall into that role! Someone will replace them who really wants a reading and truly needs your help. Make room for the people who really want to create positive change in their lives, and drop the dead weight.
You never know - you dropping those stuck clients may be just what they need to see the light. |
