|
Astrea responds:
Dear Jo,
In Yiddish, there is a wonderful word for a certain type of complaining: kvetch. Kvetching has been honed over thousands of years into a fine art form. It's not just complaining about personal problems and the lack of understanding others give us - the kvetcher even complains about complaining, and about how OTHERS complain too!
If the Rolling Stones' I Can't Get No Satisfaction had been written in Yiddish, it would have been called I Love to Keep Telling You That I Can't Get No Satisfaction, Because Telling You That I'm Not Satisfied is the Only Thing That Can Satisfy Me.
Trying to get help with an insurance company might require the aid of a professional, and in that situation, you're certainly NOT complaining. There is a time and a place to discuss your material problems and the events of your business life with people who can assist you in doing something about whatever is wrong.
Legal situations require lawyers. Health situations require doctors. A psychotherapist can help with emotional pain. Telling someone who can actually assist you in solving a practical problem doesn't qualify as complaining. As long as the person receiving the information may be of assistance, that's a fair conversation; you are using the Law of Attraction by calling on someone who can help.
Destructive whining and complaining occur when a person tells another person something the other person can do absolutely nothing about. One of the best examples of this is the person who constantly whines, I'm tired. What can anyone do about that?
The other person can't rest for the complainer, and can't give them the time they need to get rejuvenated. There is absolutely nothing that someone else can do to control another's fatigue. When we complain about things just to complain, nothing constructive comes of it.
It sounds to me like you and your friends fall somewhere in between valid communicating and kvetching. If friends who qualify as complainers are draining your energy, simply limit the amount of time you spend listening.
You know when YOU are going on and on about something no one can do anything about but you. When you catch yourself doing this, start problem-solving instead of feeding negative situations by repeating your complaints again and again.
We all whine and complain at times, but we can all use the Law of Attraction wisely to draw what we desire into our lives too. If you spend your time in gratitude, before long you won't have anything to complain about at all.
|
Susyn responds:
Dear Jo,
It can be confusing to determine the difference between simply venting and falling into a pattern of negative thinking or complaining. We all need someone we can discuss our struggles with, whether it's to identify them and see if we can come up with a solution or discover a way to accept what's happening.
It's also a vital part of our spiritual path to learn to look at these instances from a higher perspective, and to identify if there is some part of ourselves that may need to change its habits of word, thought or action.
Some people love to report all their troubles or difficulties to anyone within earshot. The problem here is that whatever we dwell on becomes bigger, so if we are focused on negativity or upsets, we begin to see more things to complain about everywhere.
It's important to choose the right person to share our problems with. We all have friends who tend to agree with us, back up our positions, or confirm that we are indeed in the midst of a hard time.
While they may validate what we are experiencing, they could cause more harm than good if they encourage us to feel sorry for ourselves, or worse yet, powerless.
We all must choose how we'll confront difficult situations in our lives, but sharing them with a friend or spiritual advisor we can trust to be honest with us is the best way to transform our problems into gifts. Wise helpers will offer ideas, shift our perceptions, or suggest options for change we may not have considered.
Take, for example, the insurance company you mentioned. Your struggles with them aren't personal, and it's likely most people who call them have similar experiences.
If you take an incident like this to heart, the situation will throw you off your spiritual center, and could grow worse if you keep focusing on the person or situation causing the problem.
Often when these things happen, it's simply our inner knowing urging us to change in some way. For example, if you can't get someone to listen to you, it's time to stop talking and take action.
Whether that means addressing your problems with a different agent, changing insurance companies, or standing back to let things resolve on their own, the bottom line is that you'll have to find another way to solve the trouble. This will empower you and instantly turn things around.
Raising our awareness, avoiding negative thinking and looking beyond the immediate situation to realize the deeper purpose behind our troubles are all positive ways of dealing with the frustrations life tends to toss our way. |
