I feel like I'm always hitting walls in my relationships, and I can't figure out what's going on. I try to manifest harmony but it just doesn't work. I listen to my own inner knowing, but my spouse and coworkers are always butting heads with me, which causes a lot of frustration. Sometimes I believe I'm just supposed to be alone in my life. I'm not difficult by nature, but my family members and my husbands have always gone against me and tried to make me feel that I'm not okay. Am I missing something? Is there something I'm not seeing besides that they're not okay? Should I be approaching people differently? I deliver my words with clarity and love, only to be thwarted by their anger and resistance. Then I'm told it's my fault! I don't know what to do. I am a lightworker who needs help, and I'm not sure where to look for it. Am I somehow creating all this discord?

-Anne

Dear Anne,

Don't feel that you're the only person with these issues. Even a Lightworker can't make others behave the way she wants them to all the time. After all, you're only human! Lightworkers can get very frustrated even when they're working in an enlightened atmosphere, for much of the time, things don't go the way we want them to.

In order to manifest harmony in others, we would have to BE those others. Harmony comes to those who seek it. You can control your own thoughts, perceptions and feelings, but not those of other people.

If we meet others in peaceful harmony, that harmony comes back to us. You're obviously around people who want to argue with you and judge you. You don't cause these problems, but you do feed others' disrespectful behavior towards you.

If the people at your job keep arguing with you, it's probably time to look for a more pleasant situation. Outside of our own families, we can largely choose the people we let into our lives. I know it's easier said than done, but if you can trust in your ability to manifest a great new job, it will happen.

While Capricorns with your birthday can be opinionated, they are rarely unreasonable. If people are fighting you just for the drama, it's time to change that for YOU. Getting your family to cooperate and breaking established patterns isn't easy, of course. You've taught these people that you can be talked out of ideas and controlled, so now they expect you to always acquiesce to what they want.

The way to turn that around is to stop letting them tell you want to do. Find the courage to say no to them when you're sure they're on the wrong track. It will be difficult at first, but they'll get used to it if you're consistent.

Also, remember that we ALL have valid answers and solutions, for no two people perceive the same thing the exact same way. Forcing people to do what we want is impossible, and it wastes our energy to keep that up all the time. Find a way to be in harmony with your surroundings.

Sometimes we need time to plan and reflect. Capricorns don't take personal time alone very often, and as a result, they wind up feeling tired and frustrated. Stand back and observe what's really happening around you and then change what you can. Let the rest go and go with the flow.

Susyn responds:

Dear Anne,

I'm sorry for the difficulties you're going through in your personal relationships. It's always been my experience that our struggles are designed to challenge us and move us to a better place.

Sometimes it can be hard to determine if a problem is yours or someone else's, but if something is in your experience, it's there for a good reason. In this case, it sounds as if you're the common denominator.

From your letter, it also sounds like you may be trying too hard in your relationships. You may notice that the more discord that arises in these situations, the greater your tendency to try and counteract or take care of things becomes.

As confusing as it may sound, there are people who will resent your offers of help. Some will interpret your efforts as attempts to control their actions, while others will resist because they don't really want to succeed or don't want to be held responsible should they fail.

From a spiritual perspective, problems that occur repeatedly are often a sign that it's time for a change. Of course, the quickest way to change other people's actions or responses is to change your own. This may seem almost too simple, but I promise you that if you change just one element about yourself, you will see immediate change in other people's reactions to you.

As an example, if you are the one who is always taking charge or giving directions, try listening instead. By holding your tongue and simply giving them your full attention, they will immediately notice a change in you, and in turn, they will respond differently.

If you're the person everyone seeks out for advice or direction, try responding with something like, I'm not sure or I don't know, maybe you can ask so and so.

In short, you can create the harmony you seek by reclaiming your own inner power and calm center. The fastest way to accomplish that is to hold back and let others reach out to you. These practices may seem to make little sense, but you'll see the effects immediately when people begin to respond to you differently.

Although it may feel unfair that you're the one who has to change, your willingness to try will enable you to restore these relationships to a more balanced state. It will also clear your own heart and spirit, enhance your qualities as a good partner and friend, and boost your power and energy as a lightworker.